One Year Ago Today....

I arrived in Playa one year ago today for 5 weeks. I was so completely nervous and a bit scared about traveling alone for this long not knowing anyone, really.

I never would have imagined what a truly wonderful experience this turned out to be. Probably one of the best things I ever did in my life! And the people you see here on this video are those that I keep close to heart!

(and yes, I did lose a bit of weight over the course of my stay and beyond)

Whack a Mole No Longer

Thanks everyone for your sympathies and encouraging words. Even though I didn’t respond to each one, you all have touched me deeply. I thank you. I’ve heard through word of mouth that there are many out there reading my blog who were quite concerned about me, and I’m sorry if my posts alarmed anyone. Yes, I am usually chipper and upbeat and could roll with the punches, but not this time. All of these things hit me in quick succession and with great strength and I felt just like a Whack a Mole at the amusement park. Except, I wasn’t amused. But, I’m okay now. I am! :)

This past weekend was a glorious one in Wisconsin. The perfect autumn day. The turning leaves are in full color now…skies were bright blue…and the weather was warm. I managed to get a 2 hour hike in on Sunday. I hiked until my head was clear, the tears dried up, and my heart started feeling light again. I could have hiked longer, but the park was really filling up with people out enjoying the day. When I’m in the park it’s usually quite empty and I much prefer the feeling of solitude.

Wednesday Night I have my first Realtor interview. She wants to do a Market analysis and tell me about the company. I’m getting excited again about the prospect of selling my home. But I’ll be realistic this time. Again, I know the market is bad now, but homes are still selling here and mine will be one of them someday.

The funeral for Don is set for Friday. It will be in Illinois as most of our family is from the Chicago area. Originally, I thought it was going to be in New Hampshire. Thursday night, when I found out about my Uncle’s death, I emailed my boss and told him that I would cancel my Mexico vacation in order to have the time off to attend my Uncle’s funeral. Friday he called me into the office and told me by no means was I to cancel anything and that I was covered if I wanted to fly out east. I told him that we probably wouldn’t go because airfare was steep for the two of us (Mom and I). A few minutes later, he called me back into his office and told me that he was gifting me frequent flyer miles for both my mom and I to use. I choked up on the spot. These people are truly wonderful people to work for…and I’ve said it before, I cannot imagine working for anyone else. They treat us all like family and truly believe that family and family issues come first. I’m so lucky. We found out at the end of the day that the funeral would be in Illinois, so I profusely thanked him for his generous offer and told him that Mom and I were deeply appreciative and touched.

My mom called this morning and asked if I’d do a reading at the service. Of course, I would be honored. Don always said I was his favorite niece. He was my bud! I’m going to miss him so.

What's a Blog Mommy?

While typing up my next blog entry in MSWORD, I noticed the little red swiggly line under the word 'Blog'. Hmmm....I guess Gates and Co are not very progressive with today's lingo. How could they not update their dictionary with the word 'Blog'??

Here are their suggestions for me to use instead of 'Blog'. As far as I know you cannot read any one of these.....

bog

boc

blot

blob

blow

Safe Journeys and Goodbye for Now.....

Last night I put together a post thanking everyone for their kind words since my last post. I was really doing okay and I don't think I conveyed that enough in my last post. My thought was to post it this afternoon with a cute little picture that I found.

It's been two weeks of things spiraling downward...one after the other. If I could reach out my hand and just catch one of them. I feel so helpless...


I just got a call from my mom. My Uncle Don passed away sometime in the last few days. He was all alone.


Don and were buds. We talked about alot of things. Books, movies, current events. He had a brilliant mind and had hoped to one day finish his degree and become a college professor. But his health had been deteriorating for some time. I feel terrible because he called me two weeks ago and I was too busy gathering up garbage for pickup the next day to talk to him. I promised I'd call on the weekend. I never did.



I'm so sorry Don that I didn't take the time to talk to you or call you back.


Just know that I love you....and I hope you've found peace.

The Sun Will Come Out...

My life has been a rollercoaster lately. Or at least my emotions have been riding the gamut of highs and lows. There has been lots of doom and gloom in my life lately and I found myself standing on the precipice of darkness. I don’t go there often in my life, but when I do it’s hard for me to rise above and pull myself out.

Last week there was a cascading effect that wouldn’t stop and I wanted to crawl away and hide for a bit. But, I found myself realizing that the things affecting me so negatively were things I had no control over. I cannot control people and I cannot control situations. I can only control myself and the way I respond to those things both good and bad around me. After wallowing all day on the couch yesterday with waterworks in full force, I decided enough was enough. It’s time to move on.

Today, I awoke with a determination to put a smile on my face no matter what. I focused on the little things that make my happy. My kitty cat, Reese, snuggling me when the alarm goes off. He seems to know that the alarm means that I’m gone most of the day so he tries to lay on my head so I won’t move out of bed. He never does it on the weekends. I thought I’d have to stop at the grocery store on my way into work to pick up breakfast, but when I was packing up my laptop, I was pleasantly surprised to find a Banana Nut Bread Cliff bar. (I’ve become so addicted to these). Oh..and I lost 2 pounds over the weekend from eating right, drinking water, and working out.

I also sent out emails to realtors in my area to let them know about my condo and that I was interested in meeting with them once my current contract is up on Dec 3rd. I already got 5 responses from agents eager to meet with me and some advice as well. It makes me feel great to know that I might have someone working for me to sell my condo in the near future. I feel that if I can meet with them now, I can look over the information and make an informed decision instead of having to rush into a new one. I’ll be all ready to roll from my current company to the next. In the meantime, the now have links to my place if they should have a potential buyer for me.

Our economy is the crapper right now. I know this. But, being optimistic has got to have it rewards, right

Don't Vote!!

Stars like Dustin Hoffman, Halle Berry, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick and more, took the time to make this "5 Friends" video telling, make that urging, everyone NOT to vote.

That's right. NOT vote. So you should watch it.

For one thing, it's funny.

And you get to see Sarah Silverman take off her bra.

Then send this blog item to five friends.

C'mon, you got five friends, right? OK, four, send it to four.

I Hear You....

...but I don't fully understand. I don't think I'll ever understand.


And because Love battles by Pablo Neruda


And because love battles
not only in its burning agricultures
but also in the mouth of men and women,
I will finish off by taking the path away
to those who between my chest and your fragrance
want to interpose their obscure plant.

About me, nothing worse
they will tell you, my love,
than what I told you.

I lived in the prairies
before I got to know you
and I did not wait love but I was
laying in wait for and I jumped on the rose.

What more can they tell you?
I am neither good nor bad but a man,
and they will then associate the danger
of my life, which you know
and which with your passion you shared.

And good, this danger
is danger of love, of complete love
for all life,
for all lives,
and if this love brings us
the death and the prisons,
I am sure that your big eyes,
as when I kiss them,
will then close with pride,
into double pride, love,
with your pride and my pride.

But to my ears they will come before
to wear down the tour
of the sweet and hard love which binds us,
and they will say: “The one
you love,
is not a woman for you,
Why do you love her? I think
you could find one more beautiful,
more serious, more deep,
more other, you understand me, look how she’s light,
and what a head she has,
and look at how she dresses,
and etcetera and etcetera”.

And I in these lines say:
Like this I want you, love,
love, Like this I love you,
as you dress
and how your hair lifts up
and how your mouth smiles,
light as the water
of the spring upon the pure stones,
Like this I love you, beloved.

To bread I do not ask to teach me
but only not to lack during every day of life.
I don’t know anything about light, from where
it comes nor where it goes,
I only want the light to light up,
I do not ask to the night
explanations,
I wait for it and it envelops me,
And so you, bread and light
And shadow are.

You came to my life
with what you were bringing,
made of light and bread and shadow I expected you,
and Like this I need you,
Like this I love you,
and to those who want to hear tomorrow
that which I will not tell them, let them read it here,
and let them back off today because it is early
for these arguments.

Tomorrow we will only give them
a leaf of the tree of our love, a leaf
which will fall on the earth
like if it had been made by our lips
like a kiss which falls
from our invincible heights
to show the fire and the tenderness
of a true love.