Thanks for your Kindness

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

 

I do not love you except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you, From waiting to not waiting for you My heart moves from cold to fire. I love you only because it's you the one I love; I hate you deeply, and hating you Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you Is that I do not see you but love you blindly. Maybe January light will consume My heart with its cruel Ray, stealing my key to true calm. In this part of the story I am the one who Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you, Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

She Let Go

She let go.
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
- Ernest Holmes

I am....

I am a diver and I am adventurous

I wonder about sea creatures I have yet to see.

I hear seahorses laughing

I see Spanish Dancers twirling and chasing

I want to dive all the oceans of the World.

I am a diver and I am adventurous

 

I pretend I am swimming amongst a pod of dolphins

I feel the years from a turtle’s shell

I touch the hair of a mermaid

I worry about the destruction of our Ocean’s Reefs

I cry for the senseless killing of whales

I am a diver and I am adventurous

I understand I am only a visitor in the underwater World

I say the Ocean is intoxicating as it’s an unknown mystery

I dream of coral gardens and playful parrot fish

I try to close my eyes and imagine the silent world around me

I hope to be back there someday soon

I am a diver and I am adventurous

Playa Del Carmen Trip Nov 2010: Day 1 Part 1

As some readers may know, Club Yebo is a very popular small hotel on 1st Avenue.  Many of us are reluctant to talk about this hidden gem to the small size and the awesome rates.  But they recently added more rooms and it’s now called Kinka’a. As of this posting, guests of Kinka’a are still welcomed to use the Playa Palms beach free of charge.


My room is VERY CUTE and VERY LITTLE, but it’s all I need.  The bed is comfy and the palapa roof is keeping the water out.  Here are few pictures.

My room is on the left.  These stairs go up to the pool area of Club Yebo/Kinka'a

View of my room from the top of the stairs.

Pool Area

Bed with mosquito netting.

Desk area and door into the bathroom

bathroom

I am checked into my room and log onto the internet and start sending out messages to my who I am supposed to meet up with me.  Mellie and Red responded they are hanging out the hotel and we agree to meet up at Dirty Martini a bit.


As I run up the short way to Dirty Martini, I see a blonde woman wearing something interesting and she is waving at me.  I get a little closer and I realize its Penny and she is wearing a garbage bag!  Even a garbage bag makes her looks fabulous.  She tells me that she and Glenn are riding around town on the scooter and they are keeping dry in the garbage bags! Cute!!

Penny in her Fab Bag!

Warm hugs to Mellie and Red (Jenny) and we all settle in for some drinks. Mellie is drinking a Ginger Martini (what else from a Red) and I sample it! Yummy!! I realize I have no money and Penny buys me my Ginger Martini (uh..thanks Penny..I just realized at this moment I never paid you back!! :o:o:o).  Penny and Glenn are off on the scooter and Red, Mellie, and I have another drink and decide to move on to Babe’s.

Penny and Red (Jenny) at the Dirty Martini

Penny and Glenn taking off on the scooter

Ah, but wait, I ask if they’ve had a Blended Mojito from La Tortuga and the answer was ‘no’.  A quick change of route and a break in the downpour and we in the reception area of La Tortuga and being greeted by Anna Tortuga in the flesh! Love this woman!

Off to the bar we go and order 3 blended mojitos. Arguable the best drink in Playa!!  We take some pictures and hang out in the bar.  Even if you don’ t stay here, you must go to the bar here and relax with a drink.  It’s really one of the most beautiful places in Playa.  The rain comes down hard while we are here.  But it doesn’t matter.  We are having yummy drinks, laughing, and just catching up. I haven’t seen Mellie and Red in two years, and I’m just so happy to see them again!

Blended Mojito!

Me, Mellie,and Red

Mellie and Red

Pictures of La Tortuga from the bar area:

 We decide to move onto Babe’s for some dinner and we luck out as the rain has seemed to let up.  Off we go around the corner and grab a table on the street. Crab rolls for me and of course I forgot what Mellie and Red ordered (Chicken Pad Thai?  Vietnamese  Shrimp Salad?)

Babes!!

Crab Rolls

Jenny doesn't like to use a fork or chopsticks!  :p

Katie Makkai - Pretty

A Time to Reflect & Be Thankful

Thanksgiving Time is almost here, which means Playa time for me again! This will be my fourth Thanksgiving in Playa and my 15^th trip overall!  I’m really looking forward to getting away and spending some times with friends.  I feel I’ve earned this trip. I really feel I have so much to be thankful for in my life.

It’s been almost a year since things starting unraveling in my life.  Someone I trusted and cared for decided to show his true colors and made me realize that what I thought was a deep friendship was only a cover for something more sinister.  To this day, this man has not owned up to things he has done and only proves what a con artist he really is.  Bygones, right?  We all learn our lessons in life and I’ve been taught a major one about people. I guess the only solace that I get it knowing that this person knows he is forever indebted to me for the job he has now and the things he gains in the future.  I am thankful that through it all, I know I am still the same person.  The one that cares deeply for others and will do whatever I can to help those in desperate need. 

This year also marked the end of part-time job for me and the start of a two new ones where I flourished and made some real friendships.  I am forever thankful for the friends I’ve made at both ZIN and at the Hotel where I work part-time.  These friendships have saved me in sense that I felt alone and in despair for awhile and some really great women came into my life when I needed to learn how to smile and laugh again.  I am so thankful, I think, more than anything for my girlfriends. 

I am also thankful for the lasting friendships I have made in real life with distant friends.  We are able to keep in touch, support, and love one other through social medias such as email, online forums and through Facebook.  I have received so much love and support from friends when I had the darkest of days this year.  

I cannot say that things are 100% wonderful in my life right now, but things are improving.  I still hope to sell my house and start a new direction in life.  But since my house has been on the market for nearly 2 ½ years, I have to firmly believe that everything happens (or doesn’t happen for a reason).  I just wish I knew what the reason was and I’d be given some sort of sign.  Or maybe I just need to be more aware of the signs that are there?  I’m thankful that I have a roof over my head and I was able to realize the American Dream of owning my home at the age of 32.  

I am thankful for Family.  A person could not ask for anything more than what I have in my own Family.  I don’t have a husband or children of my own, but I have a wonderful caring and supportive Family that loves me no matter what.  I’m lucky to have them all.  We are each other’s foundations as we go through life.

In addition to my Family and Friends, I thought of a few more things I am truly thankful for:

Life:  How lucky I am to be here on this Earth. Living and breathing!

Facebook: How great is it to connect with friends and distant friends on a daily basis!

Cats:  I am drawn to all cats, but my boy, Reese, is the light of my life.  Call me Crazy Cat Lady, I don’t care! J

Dancing:  It’s pure joy to be in a room full of smiing faces getting their grooves on, or just to be alone in the kitchen and Lady Gaga is singing ‘Just Dance!’

Lapham Peak:  My Sunday mornings with Megan hiking and running have been the best therapy!

6am Runs:  Before the sun comes up, around the lake, and through the cemetery.  Thank you Julianne!

Emotions: Sometimes it’s scary to think so deeply, but it’s also wonderful to really laugh to really cry and to really feel. 

Apologies:  Wonderful to hear them, even better to say them and mean it.

Forgiveness:  It’s even better when you are in the wrong.

Comfort: Comfort Food, Comfortable Yoga Pants and t-shirts, Comfy Chair and Blankie!

Kindness: the smallest act or word can change someone’s day. Be Kind to everyone, for everyone has their struggles.

Pedicures:  Pretty toes and feet! What more can I say!

Coffee Creamer: Has the ability to have your nemesis lose her mind and that was fun to watch. (yeah yeah..I know what I said about kindness…but this is different).

Smiles: Buddy Elf says ‘smiling is my favorite’ and he is so right on!

Glitter:  Yes, glitter makes me happy.  Glitter in hands, glitter in my hair, glitter on the floor.  Glitter me!

Positivity: Look for the good in everything and everyone and you’ll find it! 

Hugs:  An embrace makes you feel secure and loved.

You:  You are wonderful. Thank you for reading.

Now tell me what you are thankful for!